Reality Shift…7-29-2023

So here it is 12 days since the surgery. As is to be expected based on my knowledge of consciousness and ones own soul I am different. My reality has drastically changed or been altered by the whole experience.

Much of this is related to the long drawn out unknowing about my longevity. Will I stay here for awhile? Or do I have a limited time? I’m not someone that excepts science’s blind assumption that when your body and brain cease to function we cease to exist. I have great personal proof of my own to the contrary. I plan to share this personal truth with you in a story soon.

As much as I am grateful for the benefits of science and follow it closely, they have no proof that when we die we are gone forever. They never have.

Never the less all this unknowing and waiting coupled with pain that challenges ones mind to move beyond it was more tiring and reality changing than I could have been prepared for. I don’t suppose we ever are or could be.

That’s the beauty of the “Unknown”. It teaches us about ourselves in ways we could never even imagine. I found I was stronger than I could have known. All the mediation I have been practicing or the years made this possible. That is to say, move my mind beyond the pain after surgery.

This Monday when I was told it was cancer they had removed and it was only stage one wasn’t what I could have expected. I had no expectations. But I was told I was past the worse and I had nothing further to do but future checkups to make sure it doesn’t come back.

In my mind I imagined if this had happened I’d be jumping up and down with joy and wanting to have a party of self indulgence in my art and work like never before. But instead I just hugged Mary and felt her great love. I hugged my dogs and felt their love. I felt the great love from my friends who cared so much and the love of every artist and thinker around me.

The trees looked the same and the wind blowing through them looked and felt the same. The difference is now I can hear the voices of the trees and nature all around me more clearly than ever before. The big problem as I see it with humanity is that not enough people do this. Connect.

And the stars at night. I connect with them too more deeply than ever. Being near separated from ones own body(the very vehicle that drives us around in the reality) connects you more deeply to what really matters in life or death.

Death is not the end it’s a continuation. We are metamorphic beings. We keep evolving. Bottom line is I feel more deeply a connection to the universe than ever before. If we all did this more often instead of war and hate we might not have either. I’m sure we wouldn’t.

With all these thoughts and feelings flowing through me with the still lingering pain and discomfort sleeping well has been a challenge. Dreams have been epic. And getting back into my routine before all this difficult.

I still have my passions. I still want to build and make things. I still plan to make another film and so on. I just want to make art. But it will be a slow easing into this new reality. None of this is a bad thing. It’s all good. Change is always good.

Cherish Nature, our Earth, be kind to yourself and the great spirits all around us and pay it all forward with love.

This is a free flight model airplane. You build these yourself. They are intricate and meditative to build. And in the end you wind up its rubber motor and it flies silently in free in the sky. And there’s a part of you up there in the sky with it flying free.