Life’s Journeys…7-25-2023

Starting back about 3 months ago I knew something wasn’t right. About 7 weeks ago I became more and more symptomatic. I had some blood tests done. The results didn’t reveal anything wrong. Still I knew we were missing something. I could just sense it. If we listen, our bodies talk to us. And mine was. 

I know that I’m more than just a body, I am consciousness traveling in this vehicle we call the human body. Like our cars that get us around they sometimes need repair and just like the human body, if you catch the problem early you can prevent  breaking down.

So I went to several doctors and after many weeks of concern and suspense a CT scan revealed I had a 3cm tumor in my bladder. So after a painful procedure (cystoscopy) where the doctor could actually see the tumor on camera he scheduled me a week later for surgery to remove it.

That surgery happened last week July 18th. I came through the surgery fine and was sent home the same day. Although on paper it sounds simple enough I can tell you it was not.

Years ago they would have never made this an in-out procedure. But ever since Covid things have changed. Being so understaffed for doctors and nurses for one is a big part of this change. The other is the greedy insurance companies that pay for less and less of things you really need and just keep accumulating “gross” wealth.

I was sent home with a catheter for 7 days. I had never had one before and it was the worst part of the whole process. Imagine waking up from surgery and having to go but you can’t. Despite the catheter doing its job you constantly feel like you’re on a long drive and can’t pull over. That’s how I felt for 7 long days.

Thankfully I have the ability to meditate. I have practiced meditation and Yoga for years. I could have never slept at night without it. Because I could put my mind outside of my body away from the pain and into the dreamtime.

Everyday that went by was another that brought me to the end of all this. Without Mary and her love and care taking I would have slowly lost my mind with the pain. Rosie and Nova helped too. Dogs are a huge comfort.

During all this time healing Mary and I never once knew the results of the pathology. On the 24th of July, yesterday I saw the doctor and he removed the catheter. The results were, it’s cancer and stage one.

The good news is that during the surgery he removed it all. And because we caught it early there was nothing further that needed to be done. 

I do have to go back every 3 months to have the camera put up inside to make sure it doesn’t grow back. A most painful 30 seconds but well worth the pain for continued life. After a while it will go every 6 months and then yearly. Check ups to make sure it stays away.

Mary and I were grateful and relieved to say the very least. So much chatter goes through our minds when we don’t know what the outcome may be in any situation.

After something like this happens to you your reality changes. And the changes are good. Because you have greater insight into what really matters in life.

Wealth, power over other humans and fame are not a life value.

But as I walked with Mary with our two dogs on our daily studio walk, nature, sky and the breath of the Earth was deeper inside me than ever before. So was love. 

As I walked with Mary I saw something I rarely see. A butterfly caught my eye. It was a beautiful large Swallowtail. It was feeding on the flowers. It allowed me to get very close with my camera. It could see me but knew my intentions. 

It’s at moments like these that you feel truly connected to the universe and all spirit. This is real wealth. This is real power. This is love. The most powerful force in all of nature and the universe.